My plastic surgeon recently told me that she wants me to buy
a bra that is roughly the size and shape that I wish to be next year when the
reconstruction done. Sadly, because of
my chest size she will not be able to make my breasts even unless I go a bit
bigger than I am. Also, in the future if
I gain any weight I will look strange with a smaller chest and a bigger
waist. Therefore, I am now in the market
for bigger breasts. I have mixed
feelings about this, but then again, I tend to have mixed feelings about
everything. At least by providing my
plastic surgeon with a bra she has an idea of what to shoot for when she’s
pumping me full of saline and also has a limit for how much bigger I want to be.
As soon as I was diagnosed with breast cancer my friends were
super excited about the prospect of helping me pick out new breasts. Therefore, it only made sense to call these
friends and invite them on my breast shopping excursion. Away we went to a department store looking
for a cheap bra that will double as a model for my surgeon. Two friends opted to come with me (one, I
shall call Jane and the other, Joe). The
three of us wandered around the store looking at bras. Honestly, if anyone ever wants to see how absurd
our world really is then they should wander around the lingerie department. Everything was covered in zebra stripes,
sequins, glitter you name it and I bet you could find it there. Also, why does every bra have so much
padding? To quote a friend’s mother, “There
must be several disappointed young men around.” After some finicky searching, I finally took the few that I found
without padding into the dressing room.
This task was awkward because I would try on a bra, put my shirt on over
it, and then come out and ask my friends what they thought. I’m sure that anyone in the dressing room or
passing by thought that we were absolutely nuts. Our comments were not exactly of the usual
kind you hear in a dressing room. However,
I did manage to find one bra slightly bigger than I currently am that seemed
okay. You would think that I would be
done, but oohhh no, Joe insisted on parading me around the store just to make
sure I could be comfortable with these new accouterments. Joe and I proceeded to the men’s department
while I attempted to keep myself from looking like I was wearing un-purchased, over-sized, store merchandise under my clothes.
It has been my experience that this practice is generally frowned upon
and I was mortally afraid of getting caught and trying to explain myself to the
store clerks. We continued on to discuss
ties and shirts as if everything was cool.
However, it was a struggle to keep myself from crossing my arms over my
chest or to keep my face in check.
On our walk back to the dressing room the unexpected
happened. Someone I went to high school
with was waiting outside the dressing room for his girlfriend. Also, there was a line outside the dressing
room, meaning that Jane was stuck inside, guarding my dressing room and that we
were holding everyone up. Not knowing what to do, I had Joe take a
sudden hard turn and figured that, maybe if we walked around the store a bit
more things would be better and the dressing rooms would be empty (especially
of people I used to know) by the time we got back. Sadly, this did not happen and before I could
escape, my brother who had been in the store doing his own shopping elsewhere said,
“Look, Michaela, it’s so and so.” There
was no escape this time. I did what had
to be done. I straightened my shoulders,
quickly made sure my oversized bra was straight and marched passed him into the
dressing room giving him a quick nod and a “How’s it going?” as I went by. When I rounded the corner into the dressing room I found the door open, but could not see Jane inside. I peeked around the door and found Jane awkwardly hiding behind the door. I asked her
what she was doing and she explained that she didn’t know what to do as
everyone came in and saw her standing there, but not trying anything on. I asked her why she did not close the door
and pretend that she might be trying something on, but she said that she felt
it was too late by that time and therefore, could do nothing but stand in the
corner hoping we returned soon. Of
course, we did not return quickly because I was desperately trying to avoid
meeting anyone I knew. She was left,
standing there hoping that we would return and trying to avoid looking people
in the eye. I quickly changed back into
my normal, comfortable bra size and we got out of the store. So yeah, mission accomplished. Although, I have to admit, buying new breasts
was a lot more fun and even more awkward than I imagined it would be.
No comments:
Post a Comment